In regards to yesterday’s post where I mentioned wearing a brazier instead of brassiere, I want to be sure I set everyone straight.
A “brazier” is a cooking utensil in which food is exposed to heat through a wire grill. To be clear, I was not in fact wearing a brazier (or two, you’d have to have one for each breast, I assume) in my story. And I do not currently wear braziers now. I’m neither a sadomasochist nor Madonna. I believe the peanut butter would have bubbled over into a repugnant black goo or exploded (I barely passed Chemistry in high school) had I been sporting a brazier. That would have led to a much more exciting story. In that regard, I kinda wish I had been wearing one. Dammit I wish I had thought of that at the time. And I consider myself creative. Pssshhht.
Either way. My apologies for using the wrong term for an over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
I hope you will continue to read (roll your eyes/scoff at) my ramblings despite this vocabulary blooper. I promise it won’t happen again. Sorry, my fingers were crossed behind my back. It’ll happen again. How could it not? The English language is a rat’s nest, even for those for whom it is a first language. (See, confusing English right there. I’m not even sure that sentence is correct.) You’ve caught my drift. I’ll leave it at that.
Here are a couple links to fun pages I happened upon while googling braziers this morning. Enjoy.
One’s a poem by Shel Silverstein, “They Put a Brassiere on a Camel” – a great one to share with the kids. Maybe even a beach-softener for those with girls approaching the bra-wearing age? Start the bra/birds/bees convo out with an adorable poem by one of the most renowned literary geniuses in America. Brilliant. Just trying to help out my fellow parents out there.
The History of the Bra, a cutesy infographic. Side note: I love reading the comments on pages like this. Scroll to the bottom of this one. Everyone is flexing their right and left brain on the boob facts presented in the infographic while Mukund Kulkarni posts What is aim of human life? You’re on the wrong site if you’re seriously looking for the answer to that one, pal. Better luck next time. You’re better off reading a Shel Silverstein poem.